Blood isn’t always thicker than water.
A withered relationship where two people once drawn together by love have grown to resent one another. To live in quiet “comfortable” discontentment out of some fear of being alone, or perhaps something more nefarious.
That paycheck you slave away at your shit job for, week after week. You hang on to it and wake up miserable every morning, day after day, so much so that the days simply become a grey blur of dissatisfaction.
Connections and working with others, in all facets of life is unavoidable for all of us. We all know this. We are born into this world by parents. We are brought up by some kind of parental figure, biological or not. We meet friends and acquaintances as we grow up.
Friends, romantic partners, co-workers, and the like all enter and leave our personal saga throughout our life’s journey. Some of those who enter into our sphere never leave. Lifelong friends, for example. People who’s connection to you uplift you and awaken the best within yourself.
Not everybody is going to click with you. We’ve all had that shitty co-worker or classmate we don’t get on with at all. It happens.
Now for the crux of what I have to say here today:
Know when to tie the rope tighter, and know when to sever it from the dock.
Know when to cut the cable. A simple concept but over-complicated by many. I look around me in my day to day life quite often and I see the results of this often crucial move never being executed.
I see couples fighting with each other in a public restaurant.
I see public family gatherings where one or more members of the clan is at the throat of another.
I see people slogging away at their jobs in silent suffering. All the while, their limp dick boss with the greasy pole of middle management stuffed up their ass barking orders at them.
All because apparently they didn’t make my coffee right.
Yet often many of these people just go along with all of it, because they have this idea that it’s just “Part of it”. That it’s just something we’re supposed to do.
I say no. This is bullshit. Certain people’s characters line up with ours. Others don’t, and others are downright damaging to ourselves. We need to cut certain people out of our lives, and it’s important to know when.
Should you break up with your girlfriend because you had an argument over who pays the bill at the end of the night? No. Should you dump her because you had a bit of a tiff over something so small you barely remember the next day? Probably not.
But if that girlfriend is constantly being a leech on your mental well being. When you find yourself disgusted to be with her rather than elated, then it’s time to kick that out of your life.
You’re worth more than that, man.
Many families are rife with dysfunction and it’s sad to see. But it’s the same Idea. If someone in your bloodline is creating a constant negativity stream in your life, then connections often need to be severed.
You can try to fix things in situations like this, and many time’s people succeed. If both parties are willing to bend and listen then oftentimes the fraying threads can be sutured back together.
But if it’s cut or be dragged down into the deep, get the knife ready.
We are social creatures, and we often forget how much this social interaction has on our own psyche. How we interact with others directly impacts the way we form our thoughts and ideas when we’re alone. If those interactions are wholly negative then, take a wild guess what you’ll be feeling when you are alone.
On the other side of the coin, I see many people who take this idea too far, and cut all ties over more insignificant reasons. This is often down to that person’s judgement based on experience, and ultimately is up to that person to fix.
Throwing everyone who mildly inconvenienced you on the chopping block is rather overzealous behavior. Some people really can change, and it’s up to you to find out who those people are. Who is willing to make that effort to stay in your life and who is already halfway out the door?
To go back to the start for a second however, you also have people too afraid to cut people out. Maybe you’ve convinced yourself so desperately you love your toxic partner so much you can’t bear the thought of life without them. That you need them, when all they do is make your life miserable.
Cutting people out isn’t always the easiest thing to do. Everyone’s circumstance will be different, and so fear is understandable. But you’d be amazed how on point your inner voice is when you actually listen to it.
Life is momentum. Life is moving forward and overcoming obstacles along the way. Know when to cut things out of your life that are destroying that momentum. People are no different.
If people are making excuses, giving you reasons why you shouldn’t, that’s not their decision to make. Listen to your voice. Think if that paycheck or the mediocre sex with someone you can’t stand is really worth it.
You’re worth a lot. If anyone else is trying to convince you that you’re not, Cut that shit out, man. You’ll thank yourself.
Keep on going, we’ve got history to make.